Just wanted to share a couple of messages on this Christmas morning 2018:

To Those Who Find Themselves Hurting This Holiday Season
https://themighty.com/2016/12/feeling-alone-mental-illness-christmas/

by
Robert Vore
December 2016

“I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel. I just don’t understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents, and sending Christmas cards, and decorating trees and all that. But I’m still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.”
— Charlie Brown

To those who find themselves hurting amongst a sea of smiles this holiday season: you are not alone.

To those who are reminded of loved ones missing, families broken, happier pasts than presents: you are not alone.

To those who hate memories because they only seem to make you sad, never happy: you are not alone.

To those who look at everyone in the holiday spirit, smiling with cheer, and can’t feel that way: you are not alone. To those who feel even worse because you can’t feel that way: you are not alone.

To those who desperately want to enjoy time with family and friends but at the same time want nothing more than to be alone, the thought of groups and celebrations and interactions terrifying you: you are not alone.

To those who want to leave, who feel like they’re hurting the ones around them this holiday season, like people’s lives would be easier without them: you, you are not alone.

To you: know that your pain is real but that you are not alone in your aches. That others share these pains and that others want to help you in yours. Know it’s OK to be sad, even on Christmas. The fact that your depression doesn’t care about what day shows on the calendar is not a moral failure. That your anxiety doesn’t stop for perfect family moments or your eating disorder doesn’t care about Christmas dinner or your nerves don’t stop for gathering around the tree — these things are not reflections of your failure. You are alive and breathing, and that is worth celebrating in itself. It is OK not to smile as much as the families in the commercials, to have less cheer than the movies, to be in more pain than the storybooks.

If you are surrounded by people these next few weeks but are still hurting: please talk. Talk to the people around you and invite them into your pain, to walk with you. Let them help you carry the things you’re carrying. Let them love you.

If you’re alone these next few weeks: know that you aren’t, not really. Even if you aren’t physically surrounded by as many people as you want, you aren’t alone. You are valued and loved, even when you don’t feel it. Hang on to that truth: you are always valued, you are always loved.

If you’re not hurting and not alone the next few weeks: don’t assume everyone is sharing your joy. Don’t assume it’s the hap-happiest time of the year. Invite people in you normally wouldn’t. Ask more genuine questions, have more honest conversations. Value the people around you enough to ask about the ways they’re hurting. Listen well, love well.

And regardless of your situation: lean in. To relationships, to other people. Link arms and hearts with those around you and recognize that we’re all in this together. We’re all living, breathing, sometimes gasping for air. Some of us are doing well today, some of us aren’t. Remember: life is both heavy and light, and we need both. Remembering the heavy days during the light ones gives us compassion; remembering the light days during the heavy ones gives us hope.

Let’s remind each other of both.

Let’s grow more compassionate together.

Let’s hope together.

Let’s live together.

Have a hopeful Christmas.

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The True Meaning of Christmas

“Isn’t there anyone who can tell me what Christmas is all about?” cried Charlie Brown in despair.

“Sure, Charlie Brown,” Linus replied calmly. “I can tell you what Christmas is all about.” Linus moves to center stage and speaks the following:

…And there were in the same country shepherds abiding
in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them,
and the glory of the Lord shone round about them:
and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, “Fear not: for, behold,
I bring you good tidings of great joy,
which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior,
which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you. You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger.”
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly hosts, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.”

That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.”

A joyous and peaceful Christmas to all!

Although our Thanksgiving holiday is past, this Advent season of preparation for the great Gift of Christmas is also a time to remember the blessings in our lives, especially the people in our lives. Truly the people who care for us and for whom we care are gifts from God to us, and they awaken in us the true Spirit of Christmas that is God’s love.

I recently experienced the loss of my beloved Uncle John, the next-to-youngest of my late mother’s siblings and last surviving child of my Polish immigrant grandparents. What is easing the pain of this loss are the memories I have of spending more time with him over the last few years, getting to know him better, listening to his stories and songs while visiting him down on the family farm, where he lived all his life. Although he was born here, his parents were born in a part of Poland that was, when they immigrated to the United States, under the rule of the Russian Czar. My grandfather, who I never knew, was a farmer and a blacksmith, and my grandmother was a farmer’s wife and mother. Their children all worked in the garden when they were growing up, and my Uncle John lived on the farm all his life, with his wife and three sons. The farm has been in the family now for over 100 years – Uncle John’s middle son, my cousin Paul, still plants a garden every year, though it’s quite a bit smaller than when the family depended on it for their livelihood. It’s a special place for many of us cousins – my cousin Eddie referred to it in a letter as “the Hub of the Universe” – which touched my Uncle’s heart deeply.

Uncle John was I loved to listen to him sing a song in Polish or just try to teach me words in Polish. I loved his stories. Through him I learned more about my mother, grandparents, and other aunts and uncles.

Even more importantly, we both learned how special it was for us to say to and hear from each other the words, “I love you.” They are three words we all want and need to hear and need to say to others because they need to hear them too. They are three most wondrous words and can bring healing, mend fences, restore a relationship, and bring peace. Some people don’t know what to say or do when someone says to them, “I love you.” For some, it can be difficult to know how to respond, even though the feelings of love are there. My uncle used to laugh and say, “Me, too!” Then, when I believe he became more comfortable with the words, he began to respond with “I love you, too.” Those were the last words he said to me on my last visit with him before he passed. I will treasure this memory forever.

On Christmas, God spoke the Word and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. God said to us: “I love you.”

Love calls for a response, and we, as Christians, are called to do much out of love. As we respond to this call with loving words and actions to the people and world around us, might we not also take a moment to respond to God’s gift of himself with these words to God himself: “I love you, too!”

Merry Christmas!

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.”   ∼ Charles Dickens

 

“He [Fezziwig] has the power to render us happy or unhappy; to make our service light or burdensome; a pleasure or a toil. Say that his power lies in words and looks; in things so slight and insignificant that it is impossible to add and count ’em up: what then? The happiness he gives is quite as great as if it cost a fortune.”

∼ Ebenezer Scrooge, speaking of Old Fezziwig, to the Ghost of Christmas Past in “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens

 

There’s a delightful musical version of “A Christmas Carol” titled “Scrooge” that came out in 1970 and starred Albert Finney as the old miser. It’s one the top movies I’d need to have with me if ever stranded on a desert island. There’s also a new movie, called, “The Man Who Invented Christmas,” about Charles Dickens and the writing of “A Christmas Carol.” It is equally delightful, and I think I must add it to my desert island movies.

What has this got to do with anything? I’ve been watching bits and pieces of these movies lately. Yes, it’s August, but I often enjoy Christmas “stuff” more at other times of the year than Christmastime – there’s no pressure. So, let me ask: have you ever known or met anyone who was like Scrooge’s old boss, Fezziwig? I mean anyone: friend, family member, acquaintance, teacher, co-worker, or even a boss? Anyone. Have you ever felt as miserable as Ebenezer Scrooge, only to remember, without the aid of three ghosts, that there are and have been these wonderful people in your life who could put a smile on your face just by walking in the room?

Thinking about Fezziwig, I realize that there are people I know who can put a group of other people at ease with their calming presence. One-on-one, they truly see and accept you as you are, and you trust them implicitly. There are some whose voices, when you hear them say “hello” on the other end of the phone, make you feel warm and happy. There are those with such a contagious laugh that you can’t stop yourself from laughing with them. Then there are those whose quirks and eccentricities might seem well … eccentric, to others, but that endear that person to you.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be one of these kinds of people – who can brighten a room and lighten a burden – than a … Scrooge. Yes, I’d rather be a Fezziwig than a Scrooge. And if I’m ever Scrooge-like, then I wish for the transformation he experienced.

Can I lighten the load for another? Of course I can. Sometimes all it takes is a smile.

 

 

 

 

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. 

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

– 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, 13 (NKJV)

 

Hence did the wondrous mystic art arise,
Of painting speech, and speaking to the eyes.
Thus we by wondrous magic lines are taught,
How both to colour and embody thought.

~”The Indian Manner of Writing, and the Substance they use instead of Paper,” The Religious Ceremonies and Customs of the Several Nations of the Known World, Vol. III, written originally in French, and now published in English, with very considerable amendments and additions, 1731

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The first word I can remember writing in cursive style – yes, I do remember this – is “celery.” It was all full of loops and curves and easy and fun to write. I wrote it over and over again and was very proud of myself. Learning to print was an accomplishment, but writing in cursive, taught in penmanship class, was like creating a piece of art. In fact, the definition of penmanship is “the art of handwriting.” Another definition is “a person’s style or manner of handwriting.”

When I was in elementary school, penmanship was a normal part of my hometown school system’s curriculum, but not an everyday class. Like French, which was also taught in my hometown’s schools, we were taught penmanship only a few times a week, and also like French, there was only one teacher in that subject for the whole city. That set it apart from our other subjects. It was special. We didn’t begin learning penmanship until the third grade. In grades one and two, when we were just little kids, we printed in pencil that could be erased and fixed when we made mistakes; but when we were given our first special blue pen for penmanship in the third grade, it was time for perfection! Well, that’s a bit extreme. We were just learning. But if you wanted to do well and earn stars on your penmanship certificate, you tried hard not to make too many mistakes!

Continue reading “Penmanship: Artful Communication” →

You’ve heard the quote before, I’m sure: “Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast.” I actually just looked up that quote and discovered that it’s a total misquote, but we won’t worry about that. I like it the way it is. 🙂 There’s a scene in the Beatles’ movie “Help!” when poor Ringo, trying to escape those who would cut off his finger to regain their most sacred religious ring, is caught in a cellar with no way of escaping – except through a large open window that leads out to the street. He starts to run for it, when a giant Bengal tiger appears in the opening. This ferocious looking animal looks at Ringo hungrily, but our hero soon learns that this beast is harmless when he hears Beethoven’s “famous” 9th Symphony (Ode to Joy) being whistled, sung, or played by an orchestra. Soon, in this surreal scene, everyone from Ringo’s bandmates to the thousands of people in an open sports arena are joining in to perform Beethoven’s Ode to Joy. The Tiger lays down quietly, and Ringo escapes safely.

I am like that tiger – easily soothed by the charms of music (though I’m more a Mozart fan than Beethoven). I don’t know what I’d do without music. Have you ever had to make a list, for whatever reason, of your hobbies? I would put “listening to music” at the top of my list, because I spend so much time at it. I don’t play an instrument, but I do like to sing, sometimes in groups, but usually by myself – and mostly in the car! But listening to music is really my forte. I listen to music every day, sometimes all day and all night. Seriously. I use music to wake up and to go to sleep by and almost everything in between.

Why? Because music hath charms to soothe me, to make me happy, to energize me, to make me dance and sing and clap my hands or snap my fingers. It helps me focus, clean the house, create art, write, and express myself. It gives me goose-bumps and it can even make me cry. Music is emotional – and there’s music for every emotion. I have to say that my universe is a richer and better place because of the charms of music.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dr. Seuss said: “I am what I am! That’s a great thing to be! If I say so my self, Happy Birthday to me!”

Adele said: “I love a card. You know, cards? At birthdays? I collect them.”

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I love those quotes! And I love birthday cards, and like Adele, I collect them. Far better than some impersonal social media birthday greeting, birthday cards can be nice, beautiful, sentimental, humorous, and teasing. They are all part of the celebration of you! The nice cards are full of beautiful sentiments and often contain words of love and praise. The teasing ones are fun and – we hope – testify to the true affection the sender has for the recipient. That’s how I see it, anyway. The birthday cards you receive in the mail (isn’t it great to get birthday cards in your “snail mail” mailbox?) or are given at your birthday party are often the beginning of the celebration of your life that is your birthday!

Birthdays are a cause for celebration. Think about a child on his or her birthday. Kids are so excited to be another year older. Remember when you wanted desperately to be older, and time seemed to pass so slowly? Remember when you couldn’t wait to be 8 or 10, 16 (so you could drive) or 18 (a graduate)? Reaching those ages – and every age in between – was something to be excited about and proud of. Imagine as an adult feeling proud of your age? Some people do. They celebrate their life on their birthdays. How wonderful that is! “I am what I am. That’s a great thing to be,” says Dr. Seuss. He had the right idea: celebrating your birthday is a way to celebrate yourself. Go ahead! Put yourself out there for the world to see! Why be shy about it? Be bold and exciting! You have a reason to celebrate. Other people will be happy for you – remember those birthdays in a restaurant when the waitstaff presented a cake and sang to you? Everyone there turned and smiled. See the joy your birthday brought to others? Celebrations spread joy – they’re contagious! And what better way to live your life than joyfully?

There are some people who, as they get older, don’t want to admit their age. I feel that way sometimes, but for me, most of the time I feel I’m still in my twenties, sometimes even younger, though I will admit to being in my fifties.  Since I’m the next to the youngest of eight siblings, I always feel somehow “younger.”  That’s just the way it is with birth order. Anyway, I just had a birthday, and when someone I had just met asked me how old I was, I jokingly told her I was 25. I did later tell her my real age.  Why not? If you’re not getting older…well, what’s the alternative? …Which would you rather be?

So, celebrate your birthday with gratitude and joy (and lots of birthday cards)! On your next birthday, remember the benefits of having a birthday (especially the biggest benefit of all)! And celebrate, not just your birthday, but who you are. Be proud of your age and who you are – and say Happy Birthday to yourself!

They say HOPE springs eternal…especially at the start of baseball season!!!  🙂  But, at times, for some, LIFE can be pretty overwhelming, and sometimes for long periods of time at that. You can lose sight of the future, even lose the ability to imagine a future,  and end up dwelling in an idealized past while your present stands still and you go nowhere. You can lose the ability to feel much of anything when depression sets in and your view of the world is of a negative place without HOPE. Even worse, your view of yourself becomes so distorted that you no longer seem to be the person you’re certain you once were.

They also say that “while there’s LIFE there’s HOPE,”  but I’ve often wondered if it shouldn’t instead be said that “where there’s HOPE there’s LIFE.” It’s a frightening thing to believe that there is no HOPE for your life. LIFE without HOPE is not living, it’s existing. However, if there’s HOPE, even just a little, the most difficult lives can be lived with some JOY. HOPE doesn’t just light the way; it IS the way. It doesn’t just light the tunnel; HOPE IS the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Without HOPE there are no possibilities, but with HOPE, one can visualize untried futures.  What was once completely out of reach comes close to you and says, “Give me a try!” There’s room to try, whereas before, there wasn’t room to move or breathe. You can drown in hopelessness; with HOPE, you can break the surface and breathe again. LIFE is restored.

 

 

In his 1980 thirteen-episode television masterpiece, COSMOS,  the great scientist and science educator, Carl Sagan, announced at the beginning of the episode titled, The Lives of the Stars, that “if you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.” I always loved that. I didn’t know what he meant at the time. I just thought it sounded clever and fun. He was, I believe, speaking colorfully of atoms and elements, the building blocks of everything in the universe, from galaxies and stars to human beings and the humble apple pie.

Over the years, I’ve given my own meaning to these words. We’re all given at the beginnings of our lives the ingredients to make a life of our own.  We’re all on a journey to make a life from scratch. In creating that life, we are inventing our own universe – the world in which we live our lives. Our families, friends, experiences, interests, pursuits, passions…are the elements, the building blocks of our universes. But while there are only 118 (as of 2025, anyway) elements in the physical universe we all live in, our own personal universes are not defined by a limited number of elements. Our universes are made up of an infinite number of elements, ingredients, if you will, with which we can make our apple pies – our lives – from scratch! That’s what I hope to do with this blog – explore the process of inventing my universe! Please join me.